


Love is a battlefield

by StrangeNoise



Series: DB:Eighties [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Post-Revolution, Relationship(s), Sadness, Unhealthy Relationships, implied/referenced trauma, no beta we die like men, taking care of partner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 16:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18898477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrangeNoise/pseuds/StrangeNoise
Summary: Hank's alcoholism and trauma are destroying his relationship with Connor. But while the lieutenant is unaware of that fact Connor can't bring himself to leave...





	Love is a battlefield

**Author's Note:**

> Not a happy story this time. woops.
> 
> This is the first part of a series of oneshots inspired by/named after 80s songs because why not! Hope you like it!

Connor turns off the tv and turns towards the couch with a sigh. Hank lies there, snoring and fast asleep. A bottle of whiskey, a glass and several bottles of beer litter the coffee table. It’s a sight that Connor is all too used to. When he walks over to wake Hank up and get him to bed he can already smell the alcohol on his breath from a few steps away. A few months ago the android wouldn’t have minded. But now, despite not having the organs to actual feel nausea the scent makes him sick to his stomach. For the moment, Connor shoves away his system’s analysis on why that is and instead places a hand gently on Hank’s shoulder.  
  
The lieutenant startles awake and blinks up at Connor, confused. In turn, the android puts on his most reassuring smile and hopes that either his LED doesn’t turn yellow with discomfort or if it does Hank won’t notice.  
  
“Come on, Hank”, he says, coaxing the man into sitting up, “You need to go to bed. If you sleep here, your back will hurt tomorrow.” Hank grumbles about not wanting to get up for several seconds but in the end, Connor can persuade him to do just that. The lieutenant leans heavily against him as Connor guides him to the bedroom. As usual, he bumps into the doorway and curses under his breath. Connor could recite the entire exchange down to Hank’s exact choice of curse words and again he forbids himself to think about the why.  
  
Instead, he helps Hank into bed and tucks him in.  
  
“God, I’m a fucking wreck”, Hank groans as Connor straightens and stands up next to the bed again, “You should be out getting to know the world. Not at home to be some washed-up drunk’s nanny.”  
  
“I am exactly where I want to be”, Connor assures Hank. It stopped being true long ago. But by now the lie comes to the android so easily it almost shocks him. Trying to hide how upset he is, Connor turns to leave the bedroom but Hank grabs his wrist and holds him in place.  
  
“Aren’t you going to sleep next to me?”, he asks, his voice small and broken and it drives a spike of pain into that place somewhere behind Connor’s thirium pump generator.  
  
“I’m going to clean up the living room and then I’ll be right with you”, he says and hates how he sounds more like a pre-revolution caretaker unit than the free android he is supposed to be, wants to be. To make up for it, he turns around and presses a kiss to Hank’s cheek. In his inebriation, the lieutenant is oblivious to the turmoil inside Connor. He smiles and settles back down. By the time Connor reaches the door to the bedroom, Hank is already snoring behind him.  
  
Mechanical and with a blank expression on his face Connor collects the beer bottles from the coffee table and throws them away. The whiskey bottle returns to its place in the liquor cabinet – surely to be retrieved again by Hank the next night. Connor cleans the glass Hank used and places it in its cupboard. All of that done, he feels like he should make good on his promise to his partner and join him in their bedroom but he doesn’t feel like he can. Instead, he walks over to Sumo’s bed and sits down next to it. The big dog lifts his head for a moment when Connor begins running his hand through the thick fur at his neck, then rests it back on his paws again with a huff. A soft smile crosses Connor’s face for a moment. Then he can’t stop his thoughts from running wild anymore.  
  
When he and Hank had started their relationship shortly after the revolution Connor had obviously known of the lieutenant’s problems with alcohol and trauma. He hadn’t expected to be able to miraculously cure him of those but he had hoped that he could help Hank in some way or another. Even if it was just getting his partner the help he needed. He had made it his first self-assigned mission after deviating and at first, it had been exciting. Connor had amassed every scrap of information he could gather on ways to support the man he loved in changing his life for the better. But Hank would have none of it. Time and again he had come up with excuses for why this treatment or another wasn’t for him. When Connor persisted, Hank had eventually yelled at him that he was fine and to cut the crap. Not long after, Connor had discarded his mission, feeling not only worry for Hank but also shame and disappointment with himself. He had failed and now the only thing left for him to do is stay by Hank’s side and make sure his partner doesn’t treat himself too poorly.  
  
But Connor is sick of it. He still loves Hank with all of his being but that is exactly why he can’t take this anymore. Watching his partner drink himself into a coma almost every night, harming himself and permanently damaging his body is more than Connor is willing to endure. Yet, at the same time, he can’t leave. Hank’s self-esteem is fragile as it is. Often, when they lie together in the darkness of their bedroom Hank wonders how Connor could love someone like him when he has a whole world of more beautiful, younger, healthier people at his disposal. In these moments, Connor will tell Hank everything he loves about him, kissing him after every sentence to drive the argument home. Hank will kiss him back and believe him for a while. But Connor fears that Hank will see all his worries and self-esteem issues confirmed if Connor were to actually leave him and that’s something the android wants to avoid at all cost.  
  
No matter how much he loves Hank, though, Connor has to admit to himself that this is not the life he had dreamed of when the revolution happened and promised freedom and a new life for androids. Granted, Hank had been as much of a part of his vision of life as his current job at the DPD. But he had also envisioned getting to see the world, making friends and experiencing what it truly was to be human. Instead, Connor spends most nights in with Hank watching movies or whatever basketball game is currently on. It hadn’t bothered him at first but now, almost five months into their relationship, Connor is sick of it. He feels chained down and kept away from the life he wants to lead and the worst thing about it is that he can’t blame anyone but himself for it. Hank has offered countless times to spend the night alone and let Connor have fun. But being too afraid of coming home to find Hank playing another game of Russian roulette Connor had always refused and lied through his teeth that spending time like this was all he wanted. At first, Markus had still invited him to events or nights out with his friends but as Connor kept declining his invitations time and again they stopped coming eventually.  
  
And now Connor feels isolated. There’s nothing but his job and this relationship he isn’t even sure he wants to be in anymore. And through all of this Hank is blissfully unaware of the turmoil inside the android. Sometimes it takes all of Connor’s willpower to keep a neutral expression and lie to Hank instead of breaking down like he wants to. He clings to the good times when Hank is somewhat sober and somewhat happy and promises Connor the world. In moments like these, everything seems fixable. When Connor lies in Hank’s arms and the lieutenant tells him how he’s the best thing he’s ever had it feels like they might still have a chance.  
  
But then reality comes back to hit Connor in the face. Then he will come back from a walk with Sumo only to find Hank crying at the kitchen table, apologizing over and over to Connor for keeping him trapped in this relationship. He begs Connor to leave and Connor tells him that he doesn’t want that although that isn't true anymore  
  
Connor is almost startled when a tear runs down his face and hits the fabric of his pants. It’s how most nights end for him these days: with Hank sleeping peacefully while Connor sits by Sumo’s side and tries to keep his sobs down so he won’t wake anyone. As he does every night, Connor promises himself that tomorrow he will talk to Hank. That he will finally go about fixing things and leave if that isn’t possible. Deep down Connor knows that he won’t go through with it this time either. But telling himself that he will leave if things become too unbearable is the only comforting thought that will get him through these lonely nights.  
  
With a sigh, Connor rubs the tears away from his eyes and leaves Sumo’s side to go sit on the couch. There he goes into stasis, dreaming of a better tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! Comments and kudos are much appreciated. You can also come say hi on twitter @NoiseStrangest .


End file.
